Cable TV Nightmare 2: Electric Boogaloo

The story continues:

When we last left off, Yuri had completely screwed up the installation. I did what I could to fix it. We had TV.

Operative word is "had"...

Wednesday-Saturday, we're watching TV, it is mostly working correctly. There were a few channels that we were not getting, that we thought we probably should get... but who's going to complain too much when you have hundreds of channels? The wife was planning to call Monday, and ask what the deal was, but we weren't too stressed about it. So, that was good, until Sunday morning, when we lost 90% of our channels. On almost every channel, the box informed us that we needed to call the cable company and subscribe. Who subscribes to USA or MTV? Espeially since we had gotten them earlier that day?

We get another cable guy in here Monday, who proceeds to tell me that the signal from the pole to our house is so weak that he's surprised that the Internet even works. Next, he asks me what day I went in to pick up my cable box. Since I never leave the house, it is easy to answer THAT question. So, around and around we go... me, the cable guy, and the woman at the counter who is insisting that I came and got a box last week.

Turns out, Yuri screwed us over one last time, kind of as a parting gift. When he swapped boxes last week, he neglected to call in the number on the back. So, the box had never been authorized, and the cable company's computer assumed that it was a stolen box, and cut off access to most of the channels. Thanks Yuri.

So, now we get a few more channels, kind of... and someone is supposed to check the outside line and see why the signal is such crap. I will not be holding my breath.

Cable TV nightmare...

Let me tell you a little story, 2 1/5 years in the making...

So, the wife and I moved in together Valentine's Day 2004. We had her little 19" TV, no cable, and the little DVD player she won at her company birthday party. Eventually, we hooked my desktop stereo up to it. Our computer was a 466MHz Gateway with a 15" CRT. Not a "high speed, low drag" operation.

Fast-forward to this past weekend. Now, we've got a 32" LCD HDTV, a new HDTV-upconvert DVD player, a 700W home theater receiver, and a 27" TV and DVD player for the bedroom. Our computer is an overclocked 3.2 GHz speed-demon with 2 GB of RAM and a 19" LCD... the same size as our old TV, coincidentally.

Still no cable TV.

On the way home from somewhere, the wife says to me, "Let's think about getting cable. I didn't want cable, because I'm afraid you'll flip and flip and flip the channels and drive me nuts. But, what the hell, I want my MTV." Not exactly that, but close. I quickly talk her into the HD DVR, so that I can record shows while I'm at work, and she can fast-forward through commercials.

So, she calls Saturday, makes an appointment for Tuesday. The guy blows the appointment, of course. When he shows up, he's a smelly 50-something Russian guy named Yuri. Yuri smells really bad. But, it is Ultra-Summer in Florida, you learn to excuse these things at 4:30 in the afternoon. Yuri is also unable to run a cable jack behind our TV, so we have a long coaxial stretching across the living room. Did I mention that Yuri is kind of an older Russian guy? This is important later in the story.

It is coming on 6:00, we want to sit down and eat, and we come to find out that Yuri can't program our brand-new TV into the universal remote that comes with the DVR. I don't care, I am getting a $150 universal remote for my birthday. Yuri cares, though. Yuri cares alot because he doesn't know what to do when the three codes he has don't work. A half-hour later, he still hasn't done ANYTHING, because he's stuck on getting the cable remote to turn on my TV. Once I get him to give up on that? He doesn't know how to connect the DVR to my TV. He really doesn't know how to turn the box on. He absolutely doesn't know how to get it to show a picture on my TV. And, because he is technology-illiterate, and because he barely speaks English, there is absolutely no way that he can ask me the right questions, or understand what I'm telling him, in order to GET THIS GODDAMNED SHOW ON THE ROAD!

Finally, I kick him out.

Turns out, you have to convince the TV to accept the signal by doing the autoscan. Then, you have to set up the box, except the setup wizard simply doesn't work. I go online, get past all this... and then the signal is crap, because Yuri, when running the cable across my 18'x14' living room, decided I needed about 800' of extra coaxial. That, and the box is a little bit shitty.

So, this morning, fucking Yuri comes back with a new box. I get him to trim the excess cable, give me the new box, and otherwise shut up and stay out of my way. 10 minutes later, I have a functioning DVR.

Also, I have an absolute disaster in my living room, from moving everything around so much. Oh well.... I can watch all the Law & Order repeats I like!!

So my wife...

...bless her demented little soul, has been checking my inactive blog daily for the last few months. I figured I'd throw her a bone.


So, baby, here's a new blog entry just for you:

Ummm... ok, I'm at a loss too. Go figure.

Just a little something for me

Ok, more than a little something, but definitely all for me. I went a little crazy at the store this weekend, bought a buttload of DVDs. Don't really know why, it isn't like I didn't already have 300 of the damned things.

I don't know what happened. I think it is the diet I'm on... and a need to be excessive about something. Too bad I can't convince myself to do excessive sit-ups, right?

Maybe...

...we are all the things, all the people, who we have ever been. Not just the worst, or the weakest; not just the best or the strongest. I think we also get to choose... I hope so.

I've spent the past few years significantly improving many aspects of my life, and myself. However, I've neglected some other things, my physical health being first on that list.
I used to be an athlete. I'd like to be one again, or at least 'athletic'.

Maybe today is the day I reclaim that part of myself, take those first steps? Or, do I grab another Twinkie instead?

You know the guy...

There's a new guy at work... actually, an old guy who quit and came back. He's... that guy. You know the one. He's the one who always has a story that's just one step above the one before. He's the one who has done it twice. He knows everything about every subject. He has had the fastest car, the most money, the hottest women. If not him, then his uncle, or a guy he knew.

That 250 GB hard drive in the Staples ad on the table in the break room? Too small, too slow, too much money, compared to what he has. You need a 100-foot well dug at your house?
His uncle had a 1500-foot well dug at his place. Planning on going hunting? He's got rifles and shotguns of every caliber and gauge, revolvers and automatics... and, did you know he once killed a bear with a bow?

This guy... the car and house he's living in are both temporary setbacks... he used to have much better, and he will again. Not at this job, though; his last job paid much better, had better benefits, and he had cooler co-workers than we are.

Can I stomp a mudhole in the center of his chest now, or should I wait until later, just to make sure he can't be a bigger asshole today than he was yesterday?

Valentine's Day

Yep, it is tthat time again...

Time for the made-up Hallmark Holiday to make people feel bad.

Time for single people to feel lousy for being single.

Time for women in relationships to feel bad because their man didn't do enough for them this year.

Time for men in relationships to be made to feel guilty for not maxing out the credit card.

Time for everyone to fret and stress about their lives for no good reason.

Me? I'm going to have dinner at home with my wife, watch a movie or some CSI, and go to work.

See, my wife and I love each other every day of the year. We do nice things for each other all the time, not just on special occasions. We don't spend the weeks before V-Day stressing about what we'll do for each other. We're too busy doing for each other every day of the year. We're happier than I could have ever hoped for because of it.

I loves you Wifey... Happy Valentine's Day!